“We all love a sense of completion: arriving, finishing, mastery. Just the other day, I made a checklist and included things I had recently accomplished just so I could get the satisfaction of checking them off my list. True story.
But BIRTHFIT’s four pillars – fitness, nutrition, mindset, and chiropractic – are not checklist items.
The BIRTHFIT team often hears moms say, “I’ve got the [fitness, nutrition, mindset, chiropractic] pillar down, I just need help with this one.” That’s a red flag. We’re happy you have investigated some of the pillars, but you’re missing the point. The pillars are the path—not the destination. The path is made by walking it. Be in consistent action around the four pillars and you will ultimately find your life enriched by them.
A statement like the one above also indicates a fixed, not growth, mindset. I certainly don’t think I have all the answers, but I do believe that there is always something to learn—no matter how subtle or explicit. “Growth mindset” is a term coined by and based on the research of Dr. Carol Dweck. A person with a growth mindset believes their basic qualities (like intelligence, athleticism, or personality traits) can be developed through dedication and practice. Initial talent is simply a starting point. A love for learning drives resiliency through mistakes. In fact, mistakes are seen as feedback and one step closer to doing it better the next time. A person with a fixed mindset believes their basic qualities are more or less set in stone. With this mindset, there is often a drive to prove oneself because a mistake means you’re a fraud—you aren’t as smart or as strong or as kind as you want people to believe. This fear prevents progression and keeps you from evolving into the best version of yourself.
I think most people get the need to be in daily practice around fitness, nutrition, and chiropractic. A 200-lb squat doesn’t mean you have “arrived” and never have to squat again. Eating a high-quality, nutrient dense meal doesn’t preclude you from nourishing your body the next day. Getting one adjustment doesn’t mean you will never have to see a chiropractor again. Mindset, however, is the black sheep. This is the hardest pillar to take on because (1) it’s intangible and (2) it challenges us in uncomfortable ways. It makes us consider our beliefs, why we believe the things we believe, and how these beliefs are manifesting in our lives.
So let’s get personal. Here’s what a step on the mindset path looks like for me:
sitting, breathing, quietly reflecting on my marriage. Marriage is hard, you guys. Recently, I’ve been living into the belief that my husband doesn’t care as much as a loving husband should. Because I see every interaction through the lense of my mindset, I see everything he does and says as proof that I’m right. I perceive an unloving husband because that is what I am looking for. If instead, I choose to see the contradictory acts as moments of love and accept the possibility that my belief might be wrong, our relationship could be substantially better. You see, I want an extraordinary relationship but right now, in this mindset, I want validation of my belief more. From here, I have to ask myself if being right is worth the price of an extraordinary relationship. Heck no! So here’s my opportunity to make a new choice. Be wrong. Look for the kindness (it’s there). Be the extraordinary counterpart in an extraordinary relationship.
Make time for the 4 pillars. Make time to breathe, reflect, and connect. I’m so happy you are on this journey with us. As always, please reach out if you need any support or simply want to connect. ☺ ”
Love, Mel xo